One of the questions that I get asked is ‘What is the one skill that is required to be a VC?’
I think it’s the ability to say ‘NO’.
As a VC, I meet with strong founders who have great ideas and businesses. t the end of the day, I have to end up telling 99% of them no.
Every day as a VC, I have to exercise my ability to say no.
Saying yes is practically ingrained in our culture which is why being on the receiving end of no can be brutal. However, saying yes consistently can make others value it even less. The more we are afraid to say no, the more likely we are to lose out. Why is it so difficult to say no?
The reason why we find it difficult to say no is because we are taught that it’s a negative word. While the word can hurt the people around us, it can help us to prioritise.
It’s a small word, but it’s a powerful one.
I think we feel uncomfortable saying no because we find it difficult to hear it ourselves. We take it personally.
But we need to remember that it’s not an insult or a reflection of us.
Saying no can bring out more value to our ‘yes’. Let me explain how.
Imagine someone who says yes to everything.
From numerous obligations at home to fulfilling expectations at home to the never-ending demands from friends. A ‘yes’ man would probably miss out on everything by trying to be everywhere. It will be the greatest disservice to oneself.
Someone who is everything for everybody is nothing for nobody.
The inability to say no can be detrimental not only to ourselves but also to others. Most of us have the tendency to overextend ourselves for the sake of not upsetting the other person. Think of the times when you wanted to say no but ended up saying yes for something and then ended up resenting the person.
It only was because you couldn’t say no.
One of the other reasons why it is so difficult to say no is that we are taught to be selfless and the act of saying no can sound selfish. Over time, it just becomes easier to say yes than to say no.
This is especially true if we are presented with a situation where we need to say no in person. We try to evade it by ‘maybe’ or ‘later’ or similar words when we really just want to say no.
But in evading the inevitable, we are losing control of ourselves and our life. Saying no isn’t sinister.
It is honorable.
Saying no doesn’t always have to be self-serving. It can potentially be beneficial to both parties. Taking a moment or two to analyse the situation and then considerably saying no can sometimes lead to more favourable outcomes than saying yes instantaneously.
I remember a founder who once told me that “I don’t care if your answer is a yes or no. What I do care about is that I get an answer”. It’s not only true for a VC-founder relationship, but for every relationship.
In my time as a VC, I’ve come across many companies and founders to whom I wanted to say yes. But by saying no initially led them to translate their idea to a product and even strive harder.
Of course, I can’t take the credit but life may have been different if I had said yes.
We need to develop a tact to say ‘no’. A few of the principles I use are being honest, suggesting an alternative, and do it empathetically. What we tend to do usually is develop excuses that may seem like lowering the blow but it really doesn’t. The impact of no dilutes when you back it up with excuses.
So the next question is, when can we say no.
I thought of a few situations that warrant a ‘no’.
- Saying no when you see a valid flaw in the plan.
- Saying no when you know that it’s not up to its full potential.
- Saying no when it doesn’t match with your values and beliefs.
- Saying no when you don’t have the time or resources to fulfill the obligation.
- Saying no to people that have hurt you in the past.
- Saying no when it affects your health.
- Saying no when it doesn’t excite you.
- Saying no when you don’t have time to do extra projects.
- Saying no when you don’t feel like.
- Saying no just because.
There isn’t a clear-cut formula to know when to say no.
But as a matter of principle, I practice saying no when I know it will be a disservice either to myself or the other person.
In a lot of ways, being a VC has made me comfortable with the word ‘no’. I no longer view it as negative but a powerful tool that accentuates my personal and professional life.
Saying no can cause discomfort but in the long run, it’s always good for everyone involved.
Saying no is a superpower.